Meet the multi-faceted Parvati Prakash's version 2.0

 What does your 2.0 Version look like? Write about your 2.0 version as if you have already become the ideal version of yourself.  (This is part of my assignment at the Digital Deepak Internship Program)

May 21st , 2027

Parvati Prakash, a renowned Digital Marketer, Entrepreneur, and Filmmaker; is a not-so-classic example of rags to riches. She is an example of what happens when a woman of low self-esteem in her late 30s sets her mind to transforming her life and career. In 2022, she was fortunate enough to have enrolled in the last-ever Digital Deepak Internship Program. She was part of the 27th batch of interns who used the opportunity to transform their lives. 

Parvati struck gold when she recognized her strength which is her ability to write. She realized the importance of upskilling and hence to rejuvenate her stagnated career, she invested in learning. The successful completion of the Digital Deepak Internship Program enabled her to achieve her dream of attaining financial independence. She started working as a freelance copywriter and digital marketer. Soon she gained experience and became a successful Digital Marketing Consultant with international clients and a six-figure income. As she was a new mother, she enjoyed the ability to take care of her baby boy and strengthen her career with each passing day. She also found time to pursue her dream of writing screenplays of the films that she wanted to make. 

 And on April 21, 2025, Parvati realized her dream of becoming a filmmaker. Her debut film The Spice Route was released. Later that year, she also started a restaurant with her husband in Kochi. The restaurant is called the Dumpling Garden and it has become a popular hub for food enthusiasts. Her list of achievements does not stop there. Parvati has also invested in a school of alternate education for kids of all ages. She believes that children are the torchbearers of the future hence they need to be educated in skills and qualities that will enable them to lead an enlightened and successful life as adults. She has never been a fan of the traditional schooling system which according to her fails in enabling children of all kinds to fall in love with learning. The school is in the process of opening later this year. 

Parvati continues to help various national and international businesses make a mark for themselves in the global market. She also finds time to mentor women returning to their careers to enable them to achieve their dreams.  

Ever since completing the Digital Deepak Internship Program, Parvati learned the importance of passive incomes and investing which is why she has been consistently investing in a host of curated portfolios. Her attitude towards her life has changed and she is able to enjoy the kind of life she had always dreamt of. 

2020 : An introspection into the uneventful life of an introvert

 Why I call 2020 an introspection into my uneventful life is mainly because for the most part of the year 2020 I was a homebound housewife, in a joint family, doing exactly the same things I would do, had there been no pandemic. 

                                                        Photo Courtesy: freevector.com

The first part of the year 2020’s lockdown was spent cooking, cleaning, washing, and several other chores that one was forced to do because of the lockdown. My life had turned into a routine that was all too familiar but a tad bit too stressful because of the lockdown. Am sure most housewives would relate to it. 

The call for a change: As soon as the lockdown rules were relaxed, my ever so supportive homemaker of a mother-in-law pushed me to go back to the city and pursue a job and a social life. We both knew how much I needed a change in life. Being safe was a priority, so I was still homebound with my husband in our rented apartment. Frankly, I didn’t want to step out. 

The first step towards a new day: Now the question arose, what do I do with my spare time? I found my answer; where else but on the Internet. I came across the prospect of working as a freelance content writer. I had some experience in writing journals but that cannot be very helpful if I wanted to pursue Content Writing as a profession. Fortunately enough, as the year 2020 came to an end, I came across the website of ContentVidhya, which advertised a 6 days webinar on Content Writing. I saw something genuine in those words, in the testimonials, and in everything that was promised about what I would learn. After a lot of introspection, I took that golden opportunity to learn and registered for the webinar. 

The Course and its benefits: The six days of the webinar flew past so soon, and before I knew it, I was writing each day, even if those were the 6 assignments that we were assigned by our talented trainer, Ms. Uma Madhavi. Her experience was distilled into all the study materials that were provided to us by her. I could not have asked for a better writing exercise. I consider myself a novice at writing but having said that, I feel ever so confident to continue my learning to write better each day. 

                                                     Photo courtesy: medium.com

Final words: Ms. Uma Madhavi didn’t just teach me to learn and to write passionately; she showed me the importance of pursuing something out of the ordinary in life. She inspired me to get out of my comfort zone and work hard towards finding that passion that’s within all of us and make it shine. 

 

 

Day - 2 : The New Plan (there's always a plan)

Diving straight in, not knowing whether I will survive or drown in to the depths of the unknown. That feeling is scary but I am here to conquer that fear, right? Yes, I am attempting to keep the promise I made to myself. 

Today my thoughts have been about how to make myself more productive for our (Appu's & mine) immediate and distant future. Too much time has been wasted chasing illusions and deceptive goals in life. I have come to realize, a little too late in life that , at 35 I have lived more than half my life and I have nothing to show for it. Well, they say better late than never , that is why after a lot of self loathing and self pitying, I decided to pull my socks up and do something about it because the self loathing didn't amount to anything but more despair. 

I did my graduation in Media Studies from the Wigan & Leigh College based in Bengaluru. Since the college was a franchise of a college in the UK, we were issued certificates that was called Advanced Diploma in Media Studies. Well after that I did a PG Diploma in Media Convergence from the DCSMAT Media school in Trivandrum. No, I am not trying to write my resume here . It's just that I wanted to point out that I am basically trained to work in Media but I chose to work here in Kerala instead of Mumbai or Delhi. That was a big mistake. I didn't get the sort of experience from Media that would've benefited me financially and professionally. In Kerala, the biggest challenge I faced was that I didn't know the language. So the kind of jobs I chose to do never really helped me financially or even in terms of industry experience. And also over the years, my dream to make a short film just evaporated. My sense of insecurity grew. The more the time passed, the more I was convinced that I was NOT talented enough to make even a short film. I still do not have a short film but things are a little different today. 

What really changed? Well to answer that, I got married to Appu aka Ajairahul . Us getting married changed the course of our lives together. Both our lives was in Trivandrum but we had to uproot and move to Kochi. The four and a half years that we have been here, literally changed everything. Appu's work led him to new avenues, new people, acquaintances and friends...a lot of new friends.  After a lot of ups and downs both in our professional and personal lives, one fine day I decided that enough was enough, I couldn't give up this easily. I had to make my short film. Well, actually that decision was taken based on a phenomenal life altering experience I had. That incident I shall reserve for my next post.

There was a time when I was cocooned in my bedroom doing pretty much nothing, just consuming a lot of digital content. But today I am here in front of my laptop with multiple tabs opened before me. I am multitasking, at least , that is the attempt. I am trying to get myself familiarized with the language GERMAN; ( I intend to officially learn German by joining for the course at Goethe Institute)   I am trying to learn content marketing , SEO and looking to train myself in Digital marketing so that I can pursue Content Writing as a freelancer. I wrote my short film's script and soon I will restart work on my feature film script called The Spice Route. I listen to podcasts while cooking and I also wish to do some reading amidst all this. So yeah, I have been trying to do as much as possible. I am trying to pursue content writing mainly because I am fed up of the VIDEO PRODUCTION jobs. It's too much stress for peanuts for salary and it doesn't even make me happy. I might as well concentrate on things that would make me happy. ( Follow your bliss they say ! )

Along with my professional ambitions and the renewed urge to keep learning I need to take care of my health too. If I can manage to turn things around in that area too, then my life will be much more sorted. I am eternally grateful for all things I have in life and I am grateful for every new turn in my life. That's all for now!

Ciao !  

Here again...to WRITE.

I had successfully convinced myself that writing wasn't for me and that writing or maintaining a blog is futile, but despite all the self pity and constant comparisons with all the brilliant writers all across the world, here I am, back at this blog. I had difficulty in finding this ancient blog of mine. I am back here mainly because I am confident that nobody is going to read this blog, except may be my very dear and supportive friend (and the only one who takes the pain to read my writings) Anisha is sent a notification saying, " Hey, look who decided to turn up to blog once again after decades!!??" Jokes apart, I decided to maintain my blog and not a secret journal mainly because, I want to take up writing a little more seriously and I want to be accountable for the writing. Its also to get better at writing.
Now, I am not particularly sure about the content that I would be writing about but at this point, all I want to do is keep at it. I might write about the food I ordered on Swiggy/Uber eats or how we should refrain from ordering food and rather cook ourselves; or I might write about a film that I watched, not a movie review ( apparently that is the trend these days) but what that movie made me feel . Nothing new about it but nonetheless , it will be worth the while for me , I think. As this blog evolves, I am hoping to write about more things.

Now, one main purpose for me to get back to writing, is that I intend to pursue professional Content Writing. I have had no experience in writing serious articles for the longest time, so it is important for me to brush up my writing skills and practice as much as possible before I set out to apply for content writing work . I am also planning to do some online certificate courses that will further help my writing ability.

I have also begun to learn the language, GERMAN on my own. I have come to realize that it is going to be an absolute herculean task for me to even begin to understand this language. It's so tough to remember the rules, the grammar and the pronunciations but I am also liking this process of investing myself in this attempt to learn this beautiful language. I cannot fathom the fact that there are several native Indians , who are able to speak German so fluently. Anyway , in time ought to see how much can I learn. Based on my initial experience,  I will have to decide if I should join a proper course at the Goethe Institute here. It is after all a very expensive course to invest it, but once and if at all one is able to reach the B2 level, one can start teaching. And that's a lucrative opportunity .

So yeah , a fairly useless post this one has been .  May be from next post, I will be able to write something of substance. However, on a personal front, this is phenomenal achievement for , so to speak, as I could never imagine writing again . I am glad I got back to it, fingers crossed though until the next post.

Ciao.  

Please don't take me literally !

Time teaches you a lot of things. It sure does. People have told me a number of times that experiences TEACH you a lot. Do i agree? Yes, of course I do ! but do I believe it is enough? No, not quite.

Honestly speaking, I am pretty blank right now, not knowing what to write. All I know is that I had to start the writing process again, to push myself to organize the CHAOS in my head and put it all in words, here. Its kind of safe here, as nobody will notice it except for a few jobless lads and a dear friend living in another country. Come to think of it, the only thing I can do is WRITE , but only for myself, because there have been instances where I was asked to write out a brochure material for which I totally blacked out. Nobody believes but I cant write for anything commercial. I am told that I am plain LAZY. Well, I agree with that. I am an extremely lazy bum. My laziness has spoilt my life, meaning I have lost opportunities that didn't quite come my way, but they were at attainable distance had I made the effort to.

I am yet again at a turning point in my life, where I must take some life altering decisions.

1. First thing would be to WEED out my LAZINESS. If I can manage to do that then a LOT will change for GOOD in my life. I am sure of that...but it is quite a Herculean TASK.

2. Next would be to WRITE! WRITE I must, to survive, to be able to breath , to be able to face myself in the mirror every morning, at least to be worthy of myself.

3. Push myself physically...meaning , do everything that is RIGHT for my BODY. Thanks to the morning shift, I am slowing getting into the mode of 'Early to Bed- Early to rise' . I have to push myself to get as much sleep as possible and once that is in order, I will get myself to start doing Yoga again...NOT to LOSE WEIGHT but to feel better and strong. I will also regulate my eating habits and monitor all that I eat and the quantity as well. Will take care of myself , basically.

4. Voice Over - Will start practicing it again. And by Febuary 10th or 15th, I should be ready to record my Demo Tape.

Coming back to writing and READING. I have to get myself to reading again. There is a lot I plan to do. I had given up on myself a zillion times and yet this bug of FILMMAKING props up again in my head. I have to do something about it or else I will be stuck on this earth after death, as a ghost who couldn't fulfill her dreams. On a serious note, earlier on many occasions I had given up on this dream because it seemed unattainable and impractical , also I was too lazy to work hard on a DECENT script , the blueprint, of a film. How could I anticipate the probability of being able to make a film, without a proper script ??? Also, not being able to write a good script, didnt just have to do with laziness, it had got to do with LACK of EXPERIENCE too. Oh, see , I got back to the topic I started this particular post with, EXPERIENCE ! ( Phew, so writing does, sort the chaos within ones head. )

So talking of experience, I remember, long back while I was working as a Video Producer, I had approached Anjali Menon, (who I had interviewed , after her IFFK Manjadikurru award for Best Debut.) to work with, as an Assistant Director. She, very politely told me that she wasn't going to be working on anything new anytime soon ( and yet, Kerala Cafe happened, around the same time..never mind) and then she gave me an ADVICE. She asked to me to go out there in LIFE and gain new EXPERIENCES. Dont just focus on becoming a filmmaker, do other jobs, observe the life around you in different roles yourself. I was disheartened , of course! but her advice stuck with me. I think, its been over 2-3 years to that incident. In past few years though, I hadn't gained as much of a perspective, as I have today. I am not better off even now, but I am RICH in EXPERIENCES. LIFE has taught me a lot of things. I have experienced a lot of sorrows, pain ( mostly self - inflicted ) , LOVE , JOY , frustrations, desperations and satisfaction, briefly but yeah, a lot of such emotions. I have learnt to appreciate the little joys of life. At times, I need to NOT take life so seriously and at times, I have realized the importance of life itself.

I still am not living the kind of life I want to live, there is a lot of complacency on my part and there is a HUGE scope for SELF-IMPROVEMENT. . . but important thing is that I have realized it and the necessity to make amendments in my ways . I have realized the necessity to at least try working hard towards the dream. In the end, even if I don't achieve it, at least I wont be guilty of not having tried at all.

Coming back to experiences, In past few years, I have had to do quite a lot of things that I didn't initially want to, but was forced to, like falling in love again , moving to Bangalore, live in a Paying Guest house, working in a corporate world, etc. But today, I feel each of these experiences have enriched me and shaped my new perspective on life, to a great extent. For a laid back small town girl like me, coming back to the hustle-bustle and rat-race paced metro city life of Bangalore was a pain and absolute horror, but after 5 months of living here, I have come to appreciate the people and the life here. That doesn't change the fact that I will run back to the coziness of my town Trivandrum, the first chance I get to...however what I meant to say was that , I appreciate Bengaluru. I have come to like the few people I have come across, the few places I have been to here and the amazingly chaotic and yet surprisingly peaceful bus rides that I have had here. Luckily I got myself a PG that despite its high rent feels like home. Thanks to the people I co-exist here with. Except for a few minor hiccups, once in a blue moon alls well here. I have also had the chance to gain some life lessons, from Mr.Saket Mehta, the PG owner, who is a practicing Buddhist. More than his teachings , its the conversations itself that have taught me a lot about the beauty of life and importance of spirituality. I have finally started to make peace with my inner doubts and apprehensions with the idea of GOD, divinity, spirituality and PEACE most importantly. My PG mates are also decent fun girls who are not that difficult to deal with. We are no great friends but we like each others company. That's the least I could ask for compared to my previous PG nightmarish experiences so am grateful. Also, in my office, I have met some good, some not so good people , but I have learnt to maintain a balance in my professional relationships. I have let go of my urgency of being friends with everybody. Some people, whom you don't get along with, just let them be and everything will be peaceful.

Lastly, falling in love, a forbidden love, again and having got my heart broken again...by fate was worth every pinch of hurt, pain and every drop of joy. I am sucker for companionship & Love, and that's been one of my worst weaknesses ever. . . my oh my. . . what an experience this has been. For the first time ever, I felt so deeply in love. I cant quite put in words the gamut of emotions that i have experienced, the amount of beauty I witnessed around me and more importantly within me. I cant quite imagine how I will cope with the absence of love , as we have parted ways for good. Right from the beginning , we knew it wont workout but the heart wants what the heart wants. I will never regret it , in fact I am a slightly better person today, because of his existence in my life. I have learnt a lot about, friendship, life and love from him. Knowing him, I had come to know such a good human being ,so much so that I could weed out the wrong people from my life, whos indifference and insincerity was shrouded under beneath false masks of friendship. I appreciate and respect him immensely and I will patiently hope & pray to see him rise like a phoenix from his problems & challenges in life.

I feel better now. I feel confident that I can do it, but I will have to be extremely careful of my own complacency and the constant bouts of recurring self doubts and downfall of confidence. I think I am ready to recollect my experiences and at least jot them down , if not incorporating them into the films I look forward to writing in, hopefully what looks like a near future. With dear friends like Lachu, Jo, Krishna, and Jino, who have unwavering faith in my abilities, more than I have in myself; I think I can do it, be worthy of my dreams , be worthy of my existence :)

Breaking the waves

FAITH. Faith is what i don't have and life moves on faith. Now what do you make of it ?

I hadn't watched a film in weeks; well not a decent one. I was rotting in some personal shit that i created myself. Wallowing about things that don't make sense. A few days back my father was home. we were all together after quite some time.

My dad came home for a quick treatment for his skin ailment. He is suffering from some real nasty & itching skin trouble. it has spread on his feet. He is somebody who never gets upset about anything but one afternoon he said to my mother and me that he would commit suicide if this doesn't get cured. i remember him saying it. He might have not meant it, he might have just joked about it but it sent a chill down my spine. Also he was supposed to get a promotion that he didn't get for some lame god forsaken politics at his company. About the lost promotion I was told when we returned from a temple . I remember my fathers face. He is one of the most simple and sincere man I know. His dedication to his work is impeccable. He has never harmed anybody and has lead a very decent life. I broke down that evening , in the kitchen...while making some tea. Collapsed on the floor, I cried there out loud, like a baby . My mother came running, all worried. Me being punished for my misdeeds and laziness is understandable but why my father ? He doesn't deserve it.He doesn't deserve to be in pain. I lost it. I lost the little FAITH i was struggling to hold on to.

Today i forced myself to watch a film. I must.. if i intend to remain sane. I watched Breaking the Waves. Although I knew its a Lars Von Trier film, i didnt expect anything. in fact i was wondering it will bore me but I was pleasantly mistaken. Feeling nothing until I witnessed its climax. all the emotions came rushing at the end. Bess touched me like none other character I've ever witnessed. Her innocence and the immense FAITH. Her faith shocked me. Her goodness shocked me. I hated Jan for the way he had influenced Bess although i was still aware of his love ...his remorse in the end didn't make me sympathize with him...but Bess forgave him ...she not only forgave him she continued to love him . The bells were the proof of her love ! Of course I didnt need to state the obvious but I did because thats the point of the movie that has impacted me the most.

It did make me reflect on my own life. If only i had the kind of faith Bess had, I would've achieved all the successes in the world. My relationships with my parents, friends & love suffers due to my LACK of FAITH ... especially in myself.

Cinematically speaking , I don't know much about the Dogme 95 or about the filmmaker himself except that he is a freakishly honest and passionate filmmaker with his own set of beliefs and craziness. Of course the narrative structure of the film was very impressive and simple but what beats me the most are the performances ! The performances, the ACTING was exquisite. The characters, each one of them ... so well created. Last but not the least , cannot leave without mentioning the clever and apt use of the music of the film.

What I realize is that this film has questioned my FAITH or the lack of it. I have been fighting with myself over my, now infamous "Barbershop" project...to make it or not... I want to make it but i want to rework it so that more people appreciate it...but why should it matter if people like it or not ..as long as I am "OK" with it...but i guess I am not "OK" with it. However I need to work on it. I believe so; because Barbershop itself deals with the issue of Faith or the lack of it.

I repeat , I think I realized the significance of FAITH or the lack of it , in ones life. Whatever be it, one must have FAITH. Wonder when I'll have it ?

Sex, Lies & Videotape

Sex, Lies & videotape. I watched this movie today. I'd wanted to watch this movie from a long time. Didn't know what the fuss was all about . . . but still wanted to. Its one of those american indie films. In fact I've heard that this film sort of helped resurrect the Indie movement in America. Its a simple story of the complicated relationships of four characters. Four different characters.

Its surprising to me that the film is called Sex & Lies meanwhile I thought the characters in it were so much more honest than the people we usually come across in life. Ann is an introvert and shy woman is married to a lawyer, John but he is cheating on her with her sister, Cynthia, an extrovert and Loud girl as Ann would put it. Johns old college roommate, Graham arrives to town to stay with John until he finds an apartment of his to live. I am not going to review this film here and neither am i going to spell out the story here because I dont know how to do that.

What I take of this film, is the experience of relationships. For some people relationships mean nothing. Its so easy for them to fiend a relationship and have an absolutely guilt free sexual escapade. The physical pleasure holds above everything in spite of it being a momentary pleasure. Whereas for some others, its all about emotional bonding and belonging. As long as you are honest to who you are and respect the person before you , its ok. Its ok to be dishonest at somebody else's cost. Wait ..what am i saying here?

No sorry..its not ok to be dishonest at any cost. More than anything, it'll eat you from within. I am speaking out of my own experience. In the beginning of this film , Ann was shown seeing a Therapist but eventually, her issues were resolved by herself with the help of the confrontation she had with Graham. she found her own way out of the misery she was in. So you dont really need a therapist to have a breakthrough in the problems of your life. You just need the right motivation and the right person to open out to. I loved Cynthia too for her brave and bold character. She is not apologetic for who she is and probably even takes pride in what she is. Her world doesn't revolve around anybody but herself.

Wow ! I wish I could be like that. My happiness depends and revolves around the people in my life. I so hate it. I wish I could change that. I gave some morons so much importance that their indifference hits me hard. I allowed it. Its my fault. I need to change. Will try and change it. also, not everybody is lucky to find a man as sensitive as Graham. His inability to express his desires or his fears were met by the compassion of Ann. Anyways, I would want a strong man like..i dont know who, as yet.

Look at this, i am reflecting in on my own life while talking about the characters of this film, i guess thats what a good film ought to do, so i am guessing i loved the film. Not bad , huh !

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