Day - 2 : The New Plan (there's always a plan)

Diving straight in, not knowing whether I will survive or drown in to the depths of the unknown. That feeling is scary but I am here to conquer that fear, right? Yes, I am attempting to keep the promise I made to myself. 

Today my thoughts have been about how to make myself more productive for our (Appu's & mine) immediate and distant future. Too much time has been wasted chasing illusions and deceptive goals in life. I have come to realize, a little too late in life that , at 35 I have lived more than half my life and I have nothing to show for it. Well, they say better late than never , that is why after a lot of self loathing and self pitying, I decided to pull my socks up and do something about it because the self loathing didn't amount to anything but more despair. 

I did my graduation in Media Studies from the Wigan & Leigh College based in Bengaluru. Since the college was a franchise of a college in the UK, we were issued certificates that was called Advanced Diploma in Media Studies. Well after that I did a PG Diploma in Media Convergence from the DCSMAT Media school in Trivandrum. No, I am not trying to write my resume here . It's just that I wanted to point out that I am basically trained to work in Media but I chose to work here in Kerala instead of Mumbai or Delhi. That was a big mistake. I didn't get the sort of experience from Media that would've benefited me financially and professionally. In Kerala, the biggest challenge I faced was that I didn't know the language. So the kind of jobs I chose to do never really helped me financially or even in terms of industry experience. And also over the years, my dream to make a short film just evaporated. My sense of insecurity grew. The more the time passed, the more I was convinced that I was NOT talented enough to make even a short film. I still do not have a short film but things are a little different today. 

What really changed? Well to answer that, I got married to Appu aka Ajairahul . Us getting married changed the course of our lives together. Both our lives was in Trivandrum but we had to uproot and move to Kochi. The four and a half years that we have been here, literally changed everything. Appu's work led him to new avenues, new people, acquaintances and friends...a lot of new friends.  After a lot of ups and downs both in our professional and personal lives, one fine day I decided that enough was enough, I couldn't give up this easily. I had to make my short film. Well, actually that decision was taken based on a phenomenal life altering experience I had. That incident I shall reserve for my next post.

There was a time when I was cocooned in my bedroom doing pretty much nothing, just consuming a lot of digital content. But today I am here in front of my laptop with multiple tabs opened before me. I am multitasking, at least , that is the attempt. I am trying to get myself familiarized with the language GERMAN; ( I intend to officially learn German by joining for the course at Goethe Institute)   I am trying to learn content marketing , SEO and looking to train myself in Digital marketing so that I can pursue Content Writing as a freelancer. I wrote my short film's script and soon I will restart work on my feature film script called The Spice Route. I listen to podcasts while cooking and I also wish to do some reading amidst all this. So yeah, I have been trying to do as much as possible. I am trying to pursue content writing mainly because I am fed up of the VIDEO PRODUCTION jobs. It's too much stress for peanuts for salary and it doesn't even make me happy. I might as well concentrate on things that would make me happy. ( Follow your bliss they say ! )

Along with my professional ambitions and the renewed urge to keep learning I need to take care of my health too. If I can manage to turn things around in that area too, then my life will be much more sorted. I am eternally grateful for all things I have in life and I am grateful for every new turn in my life. That's all for now!

Ciao !  

Here again...to WRITE.

I had successfully convinced myself that writing wasn't for me and that writing or maintaining a blog is futile, but despite all the self pity and constant comparisons with all the brilliant writers all across the world, here I am, back at this blog. I had difficulty in finding this ancient blog of mine. I am back here mainly because I am confident that nobody is going to read this blog, except may be my very dear and supportive friend (and the only one who takes the pain to read my writings) Anisha is sent a notification saying, " Hey, look who decided to turn up to blog once again after decades!!??" Jokes apart, I decided to maintain my blog and not a secret journal mainly because, I want to take up writing a little more seriously and I want to be accountable for the writing. Its also to get better at writing.
Now, I am not particularly sure about the content that I would be writing about but at this point, all I want to do is keep at it. I might write about the food I ordered on Swiggy/Uber eats or how we should refrain from ordering food and rather cook ourselves; or I might write about a film that I watched, not a movie review ( apparently that is the trend these days) but what that movie made me feel . Nothing new about it but nonetheless , it will be worth the while for me , I think. As this blog evolves, I am hoping to write about more things.

Now, one main purpose for me to get back to writing, is that I intend to pursue professional Content Writing. I have had no experience in writing serious articles for the longest time, so it is important for me to brush up my writing skills and practice as much as possible before I set out to apply for content writing work . I am also planning to do some online certificate courses that will further help my writing ability.

I have also begun to learn the language, GERMAN on my own. I have come to realize that it is going to be an absolute herculean task for me to even begin to understand this language. It's so tough to remember the rules, the grammar and the pronunciations but I am also liking this process of investing myself in this attempt to learn this beautiful language. I cannot fathom the fact that there are several native Indians , who are able to speak German so fluently. Anyway , in time ought to see how much can I learn. Based on my initial experience,  I will have to decide if I should join a proper course at the Goethe Institute here. It is after all a very expensive course to invest it, but once and if at all one is able to reach the B2 level, one can start teaching. And that's a lucrative opportunity .

So yeah , a fairly useless post this one has been .  May be from next post, I will be able to write something of substance. However, on a personal front, this is phenomenal achievement for , so to speak, as I could never imagine writing again . I am glad I got back to it, fingers crossed though until the next post.

Ciao.