Day - 2 : The New Plan (there's always a plan)

Diving straight in, not knowing whether I will survive or drown in to the depths of the unknown. That feeling is scary but I am here to conquer that fear, right? Yes, I am attempting to keep the promise I made to myself. 

Today my thoughts have been about how to make myself more productive for our (Appu's & mine) immediate and distant future. Too much time has been wasted chasing illusions and deceptive goals in life. I have come to realize, a little too late in life that , at 35 I have lived more than half my life and I have nothing to show for it. Well, they say better late than never , that is why after a lot of self loathing and self pitying, I decided to pull my socks up and do something about it because the self loathing didn't amount to anything but more despair. 

I did my graduation in Media Studies from the Wigan & Leigh College based in Bengaluru. Since the college was a franchise of a college in the UK, we were issued certificates that was called Advanced Diploma in Media Studies. Well after that I did a PG Diploma in Media Convergence from the DCSMAT Media school in Trivandrum. No, I am not trying to write my resume here . It's just that I wanted to point out that I am basically trained to work in Media but I chose to work here in Kerala instead of Mumbai or Delhi. That was a big mistake. I didn't get the sort of experience from Media that would've benefited me financially and professionally. In Kerala, the biggest challenge I faced was that I didn't know the language. So the kind of jobs I chose to do never really helped me financially or even in terms of industry experience. And also over the years, my dream to make a short film just evaporated. My sense of insecurity grew. The more the time passed, the more I was convinced that I was NOT talented enough to make even a short film. I still do not have a short film but things are a little different today. 

What really changed? Well to answer that, I got married to Appu aka Ajairahul . Us getting married changed the course of our lives together. Both our lives was in Trivandrum but we had to uproot and move to Kochi. The four and a half years that we have been here, literally changed everything. Appu's work led him to new avenues, new people, acquaintances and friends...a lot of new friends.  After a lot of ups and downs both in our professional and personal lives, one fine day I decided that enough was enough, I couldn't give up this easily. I had to make my short film. Well, actually that decision was taken based on a phenomenal life altering experience I had. That incident I shall reserve for my next post.

There was a time when I was cocooned in my bedroom doing pretty much nothing, just consuming a lot of digital content. But today I am here in front of my laptop with multiple tabs opened before me. I am multitasking, at least , that is the attempt. I am trying to get myself familiarized with the language GERMAN; ( I intend to officially learn German by joining for the course at Goethe Institute)   I am trying to learn content marketing , SEO and looking to train myself in Digital marketing so that I can pursue Content Writing as a freelancer. I wrote my short film's script and soon I will restart work on my feature film script called The Spice Route. I listen to podcasts while cooking and I also wish to do some reading amidst all this. So yeah, I have been trying to do as much as possible. I am trying to pursue content writing mainly because I am fed up of the VIDEO PRODUCTION jobs. It's too much stress for peanuts for salary and it doesn't even make me happy. I might as well concentrate on things that would make me happy. ( Follow your bliss they say ! )

Along with my professional ambitions and the renewed urge to keep learning I need to take care of my health too. If I can manage to turn things around in that area too, then my life will be much more sorted. I am eternally grateful for all things I have in life and I am grateful for every new turn in my life. That's all for now!

Ciao !